Jaipur pushes us to the peak of irritation.

My first diary entry of the day was written in the angriest implicative tone of voice possible...

'Alicia has lost our first aid kit, I still have the drugs (paracetamol etc.).

We both have sore feet and need plasters!'

It is followed rather quickly with a sense of self congratulation, 

'All is fine, I found it on the bed after all.'

After this minor fiasco we take our usual walk into town with the relentless rickshaw drivers and tour guides snapping at our heels the whole way. The sun is sweltering and I feel much like a shrivelled tomato worthy of a Mediterranean dinner. 

Happy Birthday Tom Bristow x

Alicia 'Do you think if I marry an optician I can get cheap glasses?' 'Why dont you just marry a rich man?'

2/4/11
After our meander into and out of town yesterday we were ravenous. Unfortunately or fortunately, however you want to see it, we walked into Nero's which happens to have the iciest air-conditioning and the iciest iced tea I have ever known. It also happens to be rather pricey but what can you do when you have entered the room? The alternate of stepping back outside into the scorching sun was worth paying to avoid, so we stayed and had a pricey yet delicious meal.

3/4/11
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
The walk to town was in no way improved and we have come to the conclusion there is nothing you can do in Jaipur to deter the rickshaw drivers and young men from pestering you. We resiliently plough forth and make our way to 'The Palace of Winds' or 'Hawa Mahal'

'you look like shakira' , 'nice boobs' , 'shit, wakka wakka', ''what country is missing you' 'can i take your photo, can i have a kiss?'...Jaipur, the city apparently inhabited by the most irritating men in the world.

1st April, am sad to miss April fools day :( because it is one of the best days of the year, i suspect it may not be met with such jollity by ususpecting Indians. We didnt do very much today  except walk around and watch the 9pm movie  (the TV signal is fixed).

2nd April, We had breakfast at our hotel...the only good thing about  being at this hotel is we can order room service to our clean room.   I was entertained by a TV advert that told me something was 'Bloody cool'. We  spent our first day wondering around...the city is busy!!! Out of all the places we have been this is by far the worst place for rickshaw drivers, they relentlessly follow you down the street, sure that you cannot possibly walk two kilometers and as soon as you shake off one, another appears. The streets are also swarmed with young men asking you for chai and 'why do you always say no?' it makes getting from a to b, trying at best.

I did however love walking through the bazaars, the streets within the pink city (named because it is pinkish) are well ordered and so its almost like a crazy open air department store (really bad analogy). The textiles area was my favorite because the street was just a throng of colour and sequins. Dazzling.

In these streets though, there are some really harrowing moments that take you away. As a tourist it  becomes easy to rush around, metaphorically closing your eyes, there is a stray dog, pile of  rubbish and beggar on every corner, it would be too easy to breakdown and become absorbed with the sadness here so you put up a wall and walk by because you're not really sure what to do, but sometimes it really hits you whether you want to let it or not. In Jaipur we walked past a guy staring at the ground and following his gaze, saw a thin old man, there is a clear difference between a sleeping man and a dead body and if this man was alive, he was barely hanging on. A few more people came over and began to look so we walked away. You cannot escape from anything here, life, death, ecstasy, misery, it is all thrust into your face in the most unforgiving way you can imagine.

The shop has a name!

31/03/11
On the move again, we begin our day with a bus journey from Agra to Jaipur, Rajasthan! I am begining to enjoy the bus journeys alot, i find it relaxing to sit with or without music plaing and just think and today was a day of revelation. My future spice shop has a name...'Typical Spice Shoppy' inspired by this trip to India and my enjoyment every time I see a good sign...'Agra marble shoppy',' Typical restaurant', 'decent guesthouse', 'Ok guesthouse,' 'John is here' (I suspect 'join us here' was intended though john may very well be there' , I believe this name is perfect.

In Agra we discovered our first 'Cafe Coffee Day' which is an Indian coffee chain...who would have thought it takes a trip to India for my to finally succumb to a coffee chain, but the aircon was sooooo good! We got takeaway spinach and sweetcorn sandwiches and some biscuits for our journey. I unfortunately lost half of my sandwich to the bus curtains due to a badly times sneeze...its ok nobody noticed except Alicia. I am now on to a fresh notebook, which means I'm catching up on the blog! The first page is filled with my spice shop ramblings, a little doodle and a declaration of love for the 5rs pen I bought in Nepal, I also state that anything is possible in India and nothing is a surprise after seeing a man showering in the doorway of his bus. Literally the only thing that would shock me would be the discovery that someone is not trying to openly overcharge me!

On the bus today I see a sign..'BEWARE. ALL ROADS LEAD TO HELL'...this is not a happy thought so i hope that this sign is very wrong. There is a man and a little boy on the bus and they are the sweetest thing I have ever seen...I have also never seen eyelashes like theirs!

We arrive in Jaipur and find our way easily to some hotels...they are all claiming to be a rip off. We eventually settle on an ok price for a room and stay at hotel Kalayan. We are elated to find our rooms spotlessly clean, including a television!WOW. Unfortunately we soon come to realise that we would rather have a grubby room and useful friendly staff...this hotel was a bit of mental struggle (more so than usual).

This evening we settled down to relax and watch the 9pm movie...after a few minutes the TV signal went...Alicia nearly broke down. I enjoy India's unpredictability.

Massive love to home xxx

Me 'I like the Taj mahal' Alicia 'I like the toilets...i mean dogs'

Agra. Alicia is ill again...on entering the site the first thing she says 'what if I am sick on the Taj Mahal?', we began walking slowly but due to sitting, then standing, then sitting my trousers split...I search my bag  for some safety pins, no such forward planning.... not wanting to sit anymore, this is when we separated... it means in my most unsympathetic manner I can walk around the Taj in peace...we both admit that this time alone time was great. My irritating superstitious mind is given a boost again when I look down and see on the floor... a safety pin, the Taj is showing me some love :) I can now pin my trouser leg up! Magic.

The Taj is probably the tourist hub of India, we are charged 750rs to see the Taj when locals are charged something like 25rs but in my opinion despite the crowds and the unashamed tourist quota it was worth it. For those who dont know the story it was built in memory of Shah Jahan's most loved wife who died in childbirth, he had it built in her memory to be the most beautiful building in the world and I actually think it is. It is nigh on perfectly symmetrical and has no backdrop but the sky, which makes it dazzling from a distance and as you get closer it honestly gets more impressive. My favorite part was the interior chamber, the stone work was immense and beautiful...literally every part of this building is perfect. My only complaint was the night time illumination, though i suppose if it was illuminated you would not get the brilliant moonlight to the same effect. Magnificent.

As we leave, I meet Alicia from the toilets, we watch some dogs playing. I confessed my love for the monument, Alicia subconsciously confesses her love for the toilets. Back at the hotel India have won their game against Pakistan, Happy Times! We watch some rather disappointing fireworks from our roof, one in particular gained a response from me 'Well that was a fail of a pancake...I mean firework'. Clearly we are both losing our minds, I didn't even eat a pancake that day.

On to Rajasthan, The Land of The Kings. :)

Varanasi is like a dream

Varanasi has taken hold and I am now literally dreaming of the place...the night before we left I had a crazydream about getting completely lost in the galleys...worrying!

This morning we got up early, 5ish, and went for the required Ganges boat ride. Wonderful. The sun over the river that flows from the feet of vishnu, or maybe descends from a hair of shiva (there isnt much concrete evidence defining which story ois most accurate) was beautiful. many people had made the effort and the water was filled with boats. We rowed (not us literally, that would have been a catastrophe of circles) up and down the river for an hour, passing the ghats with people bathing, bodies burning, prayer and birds soaring low. One man dressed in white and meditating by the water looked completely at peace with the world.

The wind is up today so it feels much cooler, which is nice, although I love it her I am eagerly awaiting Rajasthan. Our train to Agra was an overnight one so we spent the day chilling and reading. Although tolkien is great I was distracted frequently by fear of monkey attack. One came close but was more interested in turnign on the tap and having a drink before vainly checking himself out in the mirror...'still got it!'

Our first sleeper train where we intend to sleep...what excitement! I could not believe how cold the carriage was at night thank god for my thick pashmina and hoodie.  We arrived at 7am to get our first glimpse of the impressive Taj Mahal!

Not enough hours in the day to blog. Varanasi continued

It seems Varanasi (Benares) has been the most intriguing place to date, so much so that my notebook for this period consists of very little. Maybe it was just too interesting to describe in words.

notes I made:
- Thought man said 'you are strange' ...he didnt
- There are tonnes of fish basking along the edge of the river, I wonder what they are?
- its peaceful even in the chaos
- They are mating cows on the main ghat...not sure the female is happy as she is tied to a post and the man keeps pulling or hitting the bull.
- tried drinking water from the bottle how indian's do it...raised from the mouth and pour it in...catastrophe...I am now covered in water.
- cutest puppy in the world just got up and sat down in the river.
- i love the flutter of paper kites.
- Man politely offered us some opium and good hash...apparently its good enough for the sadhus, I am not a sadhu.
- Alicia is definitely more angry than me.
- man walked past and said 'you like sun?' 'yes' 'ok happy day'
- people have tried a variety of photo tactics...some just ask...some take a photo of a friend with us in the background. I feel bad for famous folk.
- lots of people bathing.
- I am definitely glad velcro is not silent because i can hear if my bag is being opened.
- Broke indian man named Mowgli's heart apparently, by not going for chai with him...sorry dude.
- I worry waaaay too much.
- Varanasi has a brilliant sunset, kites fill the sky and the city is silhouetted by and orange glow.
- i think mary poppins would like it here.
- Went to evening ceremony, it happens every night at around 630pm. A wonderful show of prayer/puja at the main ghat, the river is filed with candles and boats, people fill the ghat, everywhere is colour and smoke and music.
- alicia's mustache hurts
- evening on the rooftop, people are sat playing music together. we played yahtzee.
- Two more days in Varanasi to go.

'In the city, you dont get no pity' varanasi part 1

Varanasi brought out my creative side, unfortunately there are no recordings of these one-off gems. They include the rap inspired by the relentless black bogies you get from walking round a dusty city all day 'in the city, you dont get no pity' also a hillbilly style song named 'Sittin' on the steps of the ganges' describing all the wonders you can see from just sitting there. Alicia loves my songs.

Puja guesthouse was great thought the waitors were very talkative so there was no chance of a peaceful meal if you ate here. We entertained Sambo, who's name means shiva, with stories of pancake day 'Pancake day hahahah' and easter, where we paint eggs and roll them down a hill 'paint eggs and roll down hill, why? hahahhah' and he was very intrigued by our tales of think black beer (Guinness) 'you only drink small amount yes?' 'No, whole pints, it is very popular' 'hahahaha'. He told us about a recent kite festival...i want to come back for this!

i was told before coming, that 'Varanasi is wonderful', it is. It is crazy but all the better for it, the streets or galleys (a labyrinth of thin, bustling allies leading to the ghats), are full of stalls, colour, fabric, bangles, pilgrims, cows, dogs, and crap (literally). It is impossible to take everything in and also reasonably worrying when you try to find your way home for the first time and you cant find a painted wall with an arrow in the vague direction of your guesthouse! After wondering for a while my mapping skills kicked in and I can plot my way through the streets well enough for us to get from a to b.

We found a little gem of a restaurant on our first day here; Phulwari restarant is fabulous, the best mint and lemon drink I have had so far. Mint and lemon is the most refreshing thing in the world and apart from lassi, and chai has become my drink of choice.

My notes for varanasi and onwards are somewhat sparse and disordered, much like my brain, they will come in less ordered blog form, to be sorted when i arrive home and acquire a need to procrastinate on my laptop again.

On our first day we wondered, taking in the city. We also went and bought ourselves some clothes as we were running low on clean ones...need to do some washing. I would love an orange or yellow sari but have not really got the space to bring it home, or the energy to barter it to a reasonable price and I would most likely be incapable of wearing it with any grace, they are incredibly beautiful though and feel European women failed massively when developing their fashions, all the clothes i see in England are lacking in the vibrancy of fabrics that you see here.

I miss my dog and my little brother now...he would love the camels more than i do.

 Top tip: if you are melting from excessive sunshine the best thing to do is find and ATM. Go inside, pretend to press buttons...the arctic inspired air conditioning will chill you in a couple of minutes, magic. My only question is how do they manage to keep the electrics for these tiny rooms going and have such top noch aircon when nowhere else can manage it?? i would gladly sleep in an ATM room.

P.S. I am getting very bad at blogging, sorry mum. To much chilling is happening and it doesnt help when you get half way through and the internet guy switches of the power...looking at my now blank screen he says very slowly 'Ooooh Wow, had you been writing long?' ...only thing to do is laugh and leave 'No Problem'.

Alicia loses her mind on arrival in varanasi.

Alicia went completely insane when we arrived in Varanasi. With the paranoia of always being ripped off in mind, it is quite easy.


Today the lonely planet was correct, there was a really useful old man in the tourist information box at the station and some guards did rescue us from a pushy man trying to 'help' as we stapped of the train. the Man told us to 'head straight for the pre-paid rickshaw stand and go to godowlia. cycle rickshaw 35rs auto 65rs' he also gave us a map with all the touristy bits circled on. Thanks dude. We headed for the prepaid auto rickshaw stand and a couple of rickshaw drivers made offers of around 70. Alicia had misheard and misread the sign and thought we were meant to get it for 50rs. mayhem. We got in one eventually and said godoulia. The guy laughed and said 'where? it really big?' and we said 'just drop us on the road' and alicia said '50rs' they guy laughed again and said 'no 70rs' then turned to his friend and appeared to be taking and laughing about something to do with us...alicia flipped 'WE WANT TO GO TO GODAULIA FOR 50RS, ARE YOU TAKING US OR NOT' she grabbed her rucksack at his hesitation and looked at me with fire in her eyes (which meant get out of this rickshaw), i complied with her telepathic message and got out. We walked back and approached some cycle rickshaws. They offered us '50rs to godaulia'. alicia convinced she was right and me not wanting to interrupt her flow didnt say anything. 'NO WE WANT AN AUTO RICKSHAW FOR 50RS TO TAKE US TO GODOAULIA' they all looked at her as she stood angry and disheveled, with a rucksack half the size of her on her back,  shouting at them, as if she was a nutcase. I empathised. finally an auto rickshaw came forewards and took us for 50rs. well done alicia.


Heading to town, we bumped into an english guy who was just leaving and pointed us in the direction of a hotel. His blog can be read here http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/dgreenberg/1/1301839493/tpod.html . After following an indian guy through the maze of gallies we arrived at a guesthouse which suited our price and purpose'. Puja guesthouse, just down the gally from the golden Temple.

Our evening was spent chatting with a friendly waitor and entertaining him with stories of our festivals such as easter 'we have multi coloured eggs and roll them down a hill' 'Multi coloured eggs, haha, roll down hill, why? hahahahah eggs' or pancake day 'pancakes day hahahahaha' or telling him about Guinness 'black beer, nobody drinks full glass, just small' 'No, people drink pints of it' 'pints, hahahaha' he was very entertained but swapped our useless info with little stories of varanasi and  india. Our rooftop view was wonderful. I think varansai will be one of my favorites :)

Namaste India. please dont rip us off.

24/03/2011
Our arrival in India was somewhat traumatic.

Crossing the border at Sonauli there is very little aid if you are doing it this way around, also we had our biggest boo boo yet by trying to change some money into Indian rupees...do this on the nepalese side if you ever go as the absolute ****heads ripped us off in india by about double the exchange rate without any sort of help from the guards at the tiny stinky un-official looking border crossing office. Sonauli is a mass of traffic and nothing else other than a lot of people shouting things at you. We wanted to get out asap...as you can imagine i was already pretty fuming.

In general i am not a very angrey person EVER, I am more likely to well up with unnecessary tears or have a little bottom-lip-out grump, rarely do I get to the state of ANGER. Here, we were ushered in to a jeep to take us to gorakhpur, we got in they took our bags and then proceeded to do nothing...and nothing...i slowly got more and more frustrated to the point where I could no longer take it. Marching, complete with angry face, out of the jeep I turned to the group of men 'I want my rucksack, we are getting the bus' 'bus takes 4 hours' 'i dont care, give me my rucksack' 'no, no it ok', turning to the luggage man on the roof 'GIVE ME MY RUCKSACK NOW! WE ARE GETTING THE BUS'. thinking back, and after alicia's 'erm, dude are you ok' I may have over reacted as the previous day I had quite happily waited an excessive amount of time for the bus to move, but in the moment I was one unhappy bunny, Alicia tells me they all looked terrified, but at least i got our rucksacks. We ended up taking a different jeep anyway and I have had no further out bursts...alicia on the other hand seems to be getting less and less tolerant as the days go by. the trauma continues in Gorakhpur